My father went away for the week and I am here all by myself. Usually being by myself is not a problem, but there are a couple. We have been working on this ladies car for a while and finally we are putting the transmission into the vehicle. I also have a few vehicles that are not ready yet.
I guess I should not be worried about this shit, but I cannot stop myself from thinking about it. The other problem I have been having is going out into the public. I have been feeling like the walls keep closing in on me. My situation sounds stupid and weird, but I swear it is true. I will be talking to my wife about it tonight. Some days I come home all I want to do is cry like a little baby. I do not know if I am having problems dealing with stress or if it is something else. I love my job. It is fun, hard, and I feel like I did something after it is all said and done.
I have had this issue about working the same job for more than 2 years. I am at the 1 year and 9 month mark. Do I have to change jobs/careers to stay happy? I hope not… I really do like working for my father.
Heather and I are now looking for a house. I should feel really happy about our situation, but I am nervous about it. I was told I have a worrying problem… Do I have to create nothing into something to have some type of conflict in my life? I think so.
I used to buy shit to make me happy. I have stopped doing that. I used to blow $150-$300 a week on stupid shit.  Now I do not blow money when I am depressed. I have been coming home and doing nothing. I worry and worry and worry. I am now affecting my wife. I guess the more and more I write, I think I need happy pills… Do drugs help you cope with reality?
What I have changed over the last 3 months? I have not been playing Halo 2 at all. I used to play Halo 2 on XBox Live 45-60 minutes a day and sometimes 2-3 hours! When my wife and I were going at it 3-4 times a week, I was do ok. When I was smoking 3-5 cigarettes a day, I did not worry like I do now. Do I need the Halo 2, sex and/or nicotine to deal with daily problems? The sex helped me feel like myself and comfortable with my wife. The nicotine gave me a high and made me like confident about my life. Halo 2 helped get the aggression out of my system.
Have you ever over analyzed a situation? I think I am. I think my major problem is my sleeping habits.  I need a good 9 hours of sleep tonight and I will get it. No WWE, Halo 2, Wii, or anything else will keep me up tonight. I know I have some type of problem, but I need more rest to find out.
Andrew
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