Meet Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog.
I went to a wedding recently and the bridesmaids started talking with the grooms great aunt (roughly 80 years old). They were talking about being young professionals and how its tough to get the guys to see you as an equal and the aunt interjected the following: “Learn how to drink scotch. If you can drink scotch and know the different brands, men will see you more as one of the boys and will include you more” They thought this was great advice, but all had the same reaction, scotch was gross. The 80 year old aunt admitted she didn’t like scotch at first and “it took some getting used to… you know… like anal sex”
Jack and Jill, went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two fifty,
She was reluctant at first, not understanding why we just couldn’t keep having normal sex, so I had to employ my persuasive powers:
Jaime “But…I’ve never done it.”
Tucker “I’ve never done it either; it can be our thing.”
Jaime “But…I don’t know if I’ll like it.”
Tucker “You won’t have to worry about getting pregnant.”
Jaime “But…I like normal sex.”
Tucker “Everyone’s doing anal. It’s the new black.”
Jaime “But…I don’t know…it seems weird.”
Tucker “It’s the preferred method in Europe. Especially with the runway models. Don’t you want to do runways in Europe?”
“Anal’s great for when your constipated, it totally loosens you up.” -Zack and Miri Make a Porno
“I love the fact the employees at go daddy know how to speak and understand english. It is also great that i talked to a nerd. Nerds = KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! Rep=USES A BOOK OR COMPUTER AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DNS or HTTP STAND FOR… Thanks for the great support!!!”
That is what I put in the comments box after the rep helped out.